FINALLY LETTING GO OF THE PAIN

Good morning

So woke up this morning and journaled for an hour. I wrote down about everything from my past. The bad thing, most of those things I realized that I was carrying with me as I got older.

Some of you may not know, but I was bullied growing up. From elementary school to high school, I was the main target of bullying. I had past relationships were toxic relationships filled with nothing but mental and verbal abuse.

Long story short, after writing four pages of what was bothering me and holding in these emotions, I felt better and then asked myself these questions:

  • Are these experiences and emotions the root of my physical and mental health issues?
  • Am I eating my emotions?
  • Why is it easy for me to walk around like nothing is wrong and hard for me to express these emotions when they occur?

I’m shocked that’s it’s taken me to get to my late 20’s to realize that feeling these emotions and holding them in for so long is the cause for my overall health. I guess my weight was screaming the answer to me the whole time, I just didn’t understand back then.

Now I know, I need to continue to work on practicing my coping methods and learn how to check my emotions. I don’t think to ask myself:

  • How are you?
  • What are you thinking about?
  • Are you drinking water?
  • Are you sleeping well?
  • How’s your diet?
  • Are you taking your medicine?

I don’t stop and check on myself to make sure I’m ok. So I just wanted to post this to say take time to check your emotions so they don’t spiral out of control. Learn how to express them so you’re not holding them in. If you don’t know how to do that, try journaling or talk to a professional that can help you and guide you in the right direction.

Don’t worry, I’ll be ok. I just wanted to get that off my chest and share this with you all.

I’ll check in with you guys later on. 😊

Until next time…

❤️

DAY IN THE LIFE- UPDATE

Good evening

So we’re now in August. July, what did you teach me?

Let’s reflect on that shall we:

NO SPENDING JULY– I caved and did not reach the final day of July to use my VISA, but I’m getting a little better at watching my spending now. July might not have been a no spending month, but I took time to prioritize my finances and I can always have a redo, August- BRING IT ON!!!!!

***Financial Discipline is now activated***

HEALTH– Well, I at least accomplished two days of working out, but due to my “Monthly Gift 🎁,” I decided to take things slow until tomorrow, and try to do some yoga in the AM. Baby steps? I’m still taking them, and that’s ok. But, I’m coming up with a special project I’m working on starting Monday. Keep your eyes open people.

WORK– I’M STILL WORKING FROM HOME!!!!! Enough said on that.

SCHOOL– I’m starting my final week of class, and will start a new class the following week. Wow, five weeks go by in every class so fast. April 2021 is right around the corner. I also got invited to “sit in” a roundtable discussion on Wednesday that talks about Delta Alpha Pi (the Honors Society I was invited to), and learn more from others on the issue of students with disabilities attending colleges and universities, and how we’re changing that narrative in a positive way.

Note To Self: read article to prepare for Roundtable discussion.

FRIENDS– My friend Jasmine is doing fine, her wrist is healing and got a new car. I had a deep discussion with my friend Jared about life and working on future projects. We are all working on ourselves, improving on our art, and we’re still figuring out how to be able to hang out once all of this COVID stuff is over. We’re keeping high positive vibes all around.

FAMILY– Mom is settled in her new home, Dad is settled over here with me, keeping me company. Everyone is making sure that I’m ok, and we’re all starting to work on our health together. I need all the motivation and inspiration I need. Project Healthy Family in the works.

Well, I have rambled enough. I’m hungry after staying glued to the computer for hours. Think I’ll make some ramen, and call it a night. Yes, I said Ramen, but hey, I’m a girl… with cramps… and craving ramen.

Ugh, one more day to go.

Good night readers, love ya’

Until next time…

❤️

JOURNALING

Good morning

Just wanted to share with you all my progress of journaling. Back in June, I told myself that I would start back healthy habits that I used to do in the past.

I decided to journal for 30 days. As you can see, we are on the last day of July. So I think I hit past the 30 day mark.

This yellow leuchttrum 1917 has been my best friend since June 17th. Inside, the pages are filled with orange or red colored ink (I lost some good pens during this journey). Also, she enjoys Lisa Frank stickers and Yogi tea quotes.

It made me smile when I first started writing and decorating it because it brought back memories of when I was little, picking up a plain notebook, and creating a collage cover for the front.

Now that I’m older, I enjoy treating myself to more nicer journals like this one. I think journals will be the only thing I’ll continue to invest in for myself since I enjoy writing so much.

I think I’ll pick up practicing Bullet Journaling again. Last year, I kept a journal filled with designs for layouts and trackers. Now, I want to create one for the year of 2021.

I guess that’s the good thing about “the monthly gift 🎁.” I may get tired, but I notice that’s when I have the most creativity. Crazy right?

Let me know in the comments if any of you keep a journal, and what you guys like to write in your journal.

Happy Journaling (or BuJo-ing)

Until next time…

❤️

YOU ARE GOD’S TEMPLE

Hey everyone 👋🏾

I’m back. Earlier this morning, I had my quiet time. But due to my migraine earlier, I rushed through it. But I was able get some takeaway from it. The verse of the day is from 1 Corinthians 3:16:

“Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?
-1 Corinthians 3:16 NASB
https://bible.com/bible/100/1co.3.16.NASB

After reading that verse, it gave me time to reflect over how I view my body and the changes it went through this past year.

The summer of 2018 was when I was notified I developed Type 2 Diabetes. For that was a wake-up call so I got on it. I cut out soda and sugar completely, I cut back on eating a lot of dairy, I was working out three to four times a week, and increased it to six days a week. I lost 12 pounds last year, and I had more energy, and less stress. I was happy.

October 2019, I got sick and then January of this year, I got sick again (chronic seasonal allergies back to back). I fell off track, and then March, I adapted to a new lifestyle of working from home (still love working from home by the way).

It’s was a struggle at first from March until now, but I’m making slow steady progress. But the verse reminded me that my body is a temple, it’s God’s temple and I need to take better care of it because God loves me and cares for me.

Lesson for today: Your body is important to God, your health is important to God, YOU are important to God because you are God’s Temple, His spirit dwells in you. 💖

Until next time…

❤️

WHAT DOES BIPOLAR 2 LOOK LIKE?

Good morning

So some of you may know this, and some may not, but I suffer from Bipolar 2 Disorder. Now before I go any further on this post, you’re asking yourself this question:

What is Bipolar 2?

Well, according to WebMd, Bipolar 2 is a disorder that has more depressive episodes than manic episodes.

“However, in bipolar II disorder, the “up” moods never reach full-blown mania. The less-intense elevated moods in bipolar II disorder are called hypomanic episodes, or hypomania. A person affected by bipolar II disorder has had at least one hypomanic episode in his or her life. Most people with bipolar II disorder suffer more often from episodes of depression. This is where the term “manic depression” comes from” (2020)

Now that I’ve given the verbal definition, let me give you a visual. Let’s take today as an example. I had a migraine yesterday due to my “monthly gift 🎁” arriving, so I took medicine. But from that evening until now, my migraine lingered.

It’s subsided now, but during that time, I was moving slower because I didn’t feel good. It was like I woke up like a zombie. And to be honest, these are the times when my depressive episodes kick off, because I get migraines, I sometimes get cramps, I’m tired for the entire weekend, and not because I didn’t get enough sleep.

If you ever seen “Inside Out”, I’m the little blue woman, minus the tears, for like 4-5 days during my cycle. I’m sighing, and I zone out… a lot!

Thank goodness I keep a journal and a blog because the thoughts that go on in my mind on days like this will shock you. It would probably be easier if I can draw it…

Future art project in the making???

We shall see. ✨

Just wanted to share this little tidbit with you so you all can get to know me better.

Until next time…

❤️

Reference:

Bipolar II Disorder (2020, Apr 14). WebMd. Retrieved from https://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-2-disorder#1

GAURDING YOUR HEART

Good morning

So today, I just wanted to share what I learned in my moment of Quiet Time. The topic talked about “Gaurding Your Heart” and the verse of the day was Proverbs 4: 23:

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. -Proverbs 4:23 NASB
https://bible.com/bible/100/pro.4.23.NASB

The pastor directing the sermon for the morning, asking the question “What are we consuming?” Thinking about it, most times, I’m consuming things that make me feel good and that’s ok. But, I’m learning that I need to consume more of God. I watch a lot of YouTube and social media and Netflix, but I don’t consume enough of God’s Word, time with Him, and time in prayer.

Starting today, I made a reminder for myself to consume in the Word, and in good things. 2020 is still a year of learning for me. And I’m learning so much about myself everyday. I’m not perfect, I have flaws, and that’s what makes me special. 🥰

Ok, it’s time for me to go. I’ll leave with you this scripture as well as Phil. 4:8 and Matt. 6:33 for you to indulge in:

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”
‭‭-Philippians‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭NASB‬‬
https://www.bible.com/100/php.4.8.nasb

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
‭‭-Matthew‬ ‭6:33‬ ‭NASB‬‬
https://www.bible.com/100/mat.6.33.nasb

Until next time…

❤️

MENTAL HEALTH & FRIENDS- UPDATE

Good morning

Just talked to my friend, Jasmine. Long story short, she is doing fine. She has a sprained wrist, but she is ok. We talked for a while about what happened, and how she’s ready to get a new car.

I was glad to know that she was ok. She made me smile when she said it felt good to know other people were caring and thinking about her.

That’s why I love y’all. Even though we don’t talk everyday, the fact that we still take time to think about each other and talk to each other is what really matters.”

Even though we’re all busy, we are a family. Later on today, I have to check on Mary and her sister to make sure they’re doing alright. It’s a lot going on in the world that we can’t be isolated for long periods of time. We need to continue to stay connected.

That’s what helps us get through these hard times. 😊

Ok, time for me to get back to work.

Until next time…

❤️

GOD WAS TRYING TO SPEAK TO ME

Good morning

Today’s post will start with this question:

Do you guys ever wake up in the middle of the night and have a hard time falling back asleep and can never figure out why?

Well, this was one of those moments, and after that, today may be a slow day for me to focus on work. Let’s rewind back to last Monday. I had received news from my mom that my friend Mary, and her sister Stephanie, just lost their mother the previous evening. Then, this past Monday, my friend Jasmine informed me that our friends Whitney and Kim had lost their mother Sunday night. And finally, I woke up this morning to a sea of text messages from both Jasmine and Paris that Jasmine had gotten into a car accident early this morning.

Here’s the crazy part, the hours that the accident occurred, were the same hours that I was up battling an upset stomach and sinus issues. From 12AM until 4AM, I was up, drinking tea, watching Coffee and Bible Time, all the while asking myself:

“Why can’t I go back to sleep?”

When I read the text, I sat down and started to put it all together. Maybe God was trying to tell me that something wasn’t right and I didn’t listen. And after being hit with bad news back to back, my mind was starting to think negatively. That’s when I opened the Bible app and today’s reading helped give me clarity:

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭NASB‬‬
https://www.bible.com/100/php.4.8.nasb

Instead of going into panic and worry, I should have trusted Him to know that she was ok, and that she’s going to be ok. I should have trusted Him to know that even though everyone was going through a rough time, God was going to help them get through it. I guess all the bad news clouded my mind and caused me to switch my way of thinking, that I forgot that if I focus on good things and trust in the Lord, I have nothing to worry about.

Don’t worry, she is fine. She’s going to Urgent Care to get checked out. I’ll keep you guys posted. But it’s amazing how God works and you don’t realize it sometimes.

Until next time…

❤️

MENTAL HEALTH & FRIENDS

Good morning

This weekend, I’ve spent most of my time talking to my friends, checking up on them, as well as checking in to let them know that I’m ok. Out of my group of friends, only three of them understand that I have a busy schedule due to work and school. And I understand they have busy schedules as well.

However, the last friend, feels that I have been avoiding him because I haven’t been calling him as much. If I can’t call him, I do try to text him. Now, he’s made the decision that texting doesn’t work for him anymore.

I guess he was trying to make me feel upset because he was making more of an effort to call me and I wasn’t due to my schedule. It took my friend, Jared to remind me to not let the little things stress me out:

“If he doesn’t understand that you are doing all of this to better yourself, achieve your goals, and turn those goals into a vision of helping others, than he doesn’t get it. Don’t let his negative energy drain you. I’m so proud of you, keep doing your best to pursue your dreams.”

In the past, people that I would call my friends would either take advantage of me or would always think negative about ideas that I had, to the point I would be scared to take the risk. Now, I have a close-knit circle of friends that not only inspire me, but I also inspire and encourage them to pursue their dreams and become better versions of themselves.

I write all of this to say, people will reveal to you if they’re your true friends or not. If so, hang onto them and help each other grow and win together. If not, get out of that toxic relationship before it starts to consume you, physically and mentally.

Well, back to creating and brainstorming. I’ll shall return.

Until later…

💖